I got laughed at - now we can all have a laugh together
Maybe some of you know that feeling of EMPTINESS
An inner void that always persists, no matter with what flashy things or achievements you try to fill it up with. This emptiness was my constant, intimate buddy of sorts for all of my adult life - I couldn’t feel true fulfillment, let alone happiness, and could not even put a finger on the reason why.
After many attempts at filling up this longing for more from the outside, I accepted just being somewhat broken inside and went on watching life passing me by, instead of living. I was living the life of another person, not my own authentic path. As this was my normal state of being, I made myself comfy in my adopted mental prison - not even aware of its very existance.
Whenever I saw other people naturally living their authentic self and choosing an authentic path for their character freely, I admired their selfworth, extrovertedness (even when annoying) and perceived self-security.
Monkey see, monkey do? As life showed me quickly that the insecure are often overlooked and exploited by more outwardly characters, I modeled my behaviour after them and hid my own insecurity under a layer of acted confidence. This was my pokerface. In life.
Inside I was miserably insecure and… hurt in the innermost core of my being.
Why, you may ask? For years, I asked myself and pondered over that question - without any significant insights.
I dreamt of truly starting to actually enjoy my existence and time on this earth. Which I had to admit to myself, never fully did.
Turns out, the emotional trauma of being lauged at when singing and playing the guitar as a 12 year old kept me from doing just that.
For all my grown-up life, quite literally speaking I never ‘faced the music’. The innermost expression of my soul. My inner calling, what gift I can make the world a better place with.
For me, playing the guitar and singing is a part that I always wished for internally but never allowed for myself to come into my life.
Those days are over.
The trauma is no more. Now I can laugh at myself singing - if you want to join me, we can all have a laugh together.
This piece of music is very special. It’s the first song I publish and the process to record it let me finally feel WHOLE (for lack of a better word) for the first time in my life.
So god will, there will be more songs in the future (there are some already in recording & production). Stay tuned!
For now, enjoy WHAT WORDS:
Find & stream the song on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, Deezer, Tidal, YouTube Music
Maybe there will be another post about the message of the song, the story of the cover and the next songs coming up in the newsletter - better sign up now :)
Wherever you are and whatever you do, have a wonderful time. This is a great day to be alive.
I’m very thankful you are here and have shared this moment with me.
Yours sincerely,
Modest
